Black Marriage Monday: Wes & Kaydian Comer

Wes & Kaydian Comer

Wes & Kaydian Comer

Hometown

Wes: Kalamazoo, Michigan (Born in Cincinnati, Ohio)      

Kaydian: Miami, Florida (Born in Jamaica)

Occupation

Wes: Account Recruiting Manager

Kaydian: Founder and CEO of The Promise Box

Interests / Hobbies

Wes: Reading, Watching Sports, Fitness, Travel and Golf

Kaydian: Creating Vision Boards, Reading, Painting, Travel, Competing in races to earn medals, and eating sushi with my husband.

How did you two meet each other?

We met at an event in Columbus in 2012.

Wes: I knew from the start that Kaydi had a huge crush on me. She won’t acknowledge it but it’s true. I was really into her too.

Kaydian: Yeah, believe whatever Wes says.

How long have you guys been married?

2 years (October 3, 2015)

What advice would you give to newlywed couples?

Wes: Focus on your marriage and what makes it great versus being caught up comparing to other couples. Resolve issues swiftly and don’t let little things linger and build up. Your spouse should be your best friend; make sure you work together as a team to take on all family responsibilities. Have fun and laugh a lot! Do things together! Value each other’s space when they need it. Lastly, get The Lasting App right away and thank us later.

Kaydian: Live life on your own terms as a unit. As a newlywed couple, you will receive lots of advice. We decided to seek God first while focusing on our goals and dreams. We spent a lot of time getting to know each other’s love language, communication style, and strengths while we were dating. Use every tool and resource available to keep your marriage fresh and healthy. Have realistic expectations!  

What traits do you think are necessary to sustain a lively and successful marriage?

Wes: Pray daily and consistently. Work hard to create an atmosphere where the other person feels comfortable to share what’s on their mind. All of the major life goals you must be lock step on, where you want to live, kids, money etc. Open communication is vital; the best talks you will ever have are the moments where you don’t feel like talking but choose to work through it. Lastly decide that no matter what you will not give up ever as a unit.

Kaydian: First, get noise-cancelling headphones. Have an active prayer life: Seek God in prayer about everything. God has a way of handling situations that will blow our minds. Yes, I understand passionate arguments arise, but choose your battles wisely. Open communication: Each person should feel comfortable expressing themselves. Because I’m wired to help, I typically start brainstorming solutions when Wes is talking. This is helpful, but not when he is seeking a listening ear. Since venting is different from brainstorming, I ask him what he needs from me in the moment to determine my role so I don’t cause additional frustration. Also, make sure that both of you are on the same page regarding finances, intimacy and other areas that are important to your marriage. No one likes to be blindsided unless it’s a nice surprise gift. Act as a unit, but be yourself: There are decisions and activities that will require input as a team, but also continue to enjoy healthy friends and activities that recharge and refuel you. Laughter, fun and joy: Have fun! Don’t be boring. Laugh a lot!

How do you define “Black Love?”

Wes: Enduring, powerful and something that will never fail.

Kaydian: A quiet, yet powerful strength. A magical experience. Faith-filled. Unexplainable unity. A deep, spiritual bond. Authentic love. Freedom to allow God’s light to shine uniquely through us. Protection. Joy. Peace. Hope. Laughter.